Comic Rantings from Across the Pond

By Mark Frankland

Hello it’s time for another barely coherent rant about comics by that British guy.

Since I posted my last—some would say controversial—article. it appears that some rather big news has hit the comic book reading world. So consider this something of a rundown of my opinion on what has been going on in comics in the last few weeks, plus some other stuff that I just want to sound off about. I will try to keep it short and as filled with barely constrained bitterness as possible

Ultimate Spider-Man

******* called it. I knew the new Spiderman was going to be African-American. I just didn’t think it would be this guy. I figured it was going to be the Ultimate version of Ben Reilly, also African-American, and a dab hand at creating Spidermen. But I am apparently only partially omnipotent, so I was a little off.

Am I upset about the fact that we will now have a black Spiderman? Hell no! I’m not a moron.  In fact there are only two things that shock me about this change:

1. HE IS 13! That is pretty young even by teen super hero standards. But hopefully this means we get to see him grow up as time goes on and get an exploration of the powers/puberty thing that has always existed as an undercurrent of teen superheroes.
2. The hate thrown at this character. Not the hate based on the fact that he isn’t white. I saw that coming a mile away. The thing that shocked me is the quick rumour that started about him being gay. Despite the fact that there was no mention of the kid’s sexuality in the press or the few stories he has been in, people seemed to latch onto the idea. People started throwing ill-informed opinions about him everywhere but they complained about something that hasn’t got anything to do with him. I have had the creeping feeling that people were masking they’re racism with homophobia. Which is dumb in a way that I thought died out years ago.

Would I care if he was gay? Hell no! I’m not a moron. I love me some LGBT comic book characters. Seriously, if you doubt me, ask me for a copy of my UNIVERSITY DISSERTATION!

The DC Reboot

I know this may seem somewhat out of date but we are still learning stuff, so what the hell? I am not a DC fan, but some of the stuff intrigues me—specifically StormWatch and Green Lantern. Mostly because I loved the old Authority stuff and seeing it again shall be interesting, and Green Lantern because I think Hal Jordan isn’t nearly as compelling of a character as Sinestro. So I will probably pick them up, but if they disappoint I won’t cry over the loss.

But something that REALLY interests me (but I think will never ever happen until I become lord high emperor of reality that is) is that if DC is smart, they could take one of the dullest characters they have and make her the edgiest thing in mainstream comics.

I am talking of course about Wonder Woman. Seriously.  Wonder Woman.

Wanna know why? If done right she is the perfect mix of sexuality and power that no other DC super heroine has. Trust me on this if, you can go back and find the origin story for Wonder Woman from when she was first published. Where she lives in a women’s only Sapphic paradise, with some bondage thrown in for good measure . Don’t believe me, Google it. Go on I can wait.

Done? See what I mean? For me, for Wonder Woman to be truly awesome, they need to revisit that part of her history. Still don’t believe me? Here is the real history of the bracers she wears: they are a call back to the time when her people were conquered and subjugated by Hercules and used as little more than sex slaves. Those bracers are actually shackles used to imprison and control the Amazonians and they wear them to remind themselves to never back down to men!  If DC can’t make a good story from that foundation and not “hehehe what if Superman had boobs,” then they should just scrap the character. And that is why, in the case of Wonder Woman, I don’t like how they have covered her up. She comes from a culture where her sexuality, and the fact that she is a woman, is the REAL source of her strength; covering her up doesn’t work for me. Let alone the continuous refusal by DC to have her kill anything bugs the crap outta me. Also, if she hooks up with Superman, I will officially give up on the human race.

Well that certainly went on for longer than I meant it too. Sorry about that. Next week I will write something really happy and positive. This should be easy actually, as I am off to London on Saturday to meet Dan Slott with my mate Will.